Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Worst day ever.....wait.. make that week....

Wow, what a horrible day! Lee has been hard at work cutting some steel shelving units out of a warehouse so I can set up shop there for my website. Things have just been going wrong all week. The first torch he rented to do the job wasn't doing the job. So we then rented a second (different type) torch, and hired a man to come help. Well before they could finish, they ran out of the gas that is used. Ok, so pack it up for the day and we'll finish Monday. Alright, so Monday two torches get delivered so to be sure that the job will get complete. Ah yes, victory, we can finally get this project done.......wait, not so fast. The heads on these torches are melted shut.....so they can't finish them Monday either. Ok, so the man is gonna come fix them Tuesday, and for sure this job is going to get done! Man shows up Tuesday, fixes the torches, and it's back to work. So Lee is working on the second level, 12 feet up, and the walk way he is perched upon falls out from underneath him. So he plummets down to the floor and on the way he slices, no.... gashes, no....lacerates his hand wide open on a piece of jagged metal that was already cut, so it was not a nice clean even cut. No this cut was as jagged and gnarly as the piece of metal he cut it on. He lost A LOT of blood. So much that he was palish, green looking and couldn't even stand or walk on his own. Rushed him to the hospital, and they stitched him up. 11 stitches! He lost part of the skin on his hand and they said that only skin grafting would fix it....uh, no thanks.
I am just thankful that he didn't land with his head where his hand did. If he had even been a centimeter different he would have. If he had been a centimeter different he would have landed on the floor on his head. If we hadn't cleaned all the old cut shelves out from under him, he would've landed on those, causing more severe injuries to his body. If he had the torch lit, he would've had severe burns all over. If, If, If.......I could've lost my husband today. As painful, and horrible looking as that cut was, I am thankful. I am a nurse, and I was seriously grossed out. This cut was so deep, so torn, his hand looked like ground up meat. Sorry for those of you that are visual people, but this was no paper cut. However, he is a strong man and will make it. I wish I could be that strong......but I am breaking. This week has taken a toll on me like no other. I've had some serious, serious, serious issues with extended family. I've had some serious issues with my website and not being able to receive orders. All the while, Connor has had to stay with his grandmother everyday. He is beginning to prefer to be with her, and that hurts me. I am failing as a parent. I am not giving him the undivided attention he needs. Downward spiral........How do I climb back up? I can feel this swelling up inside me.....it's about to explode. This week has to finish up well, it must, or I may have to be committed......


Katy Beth said...

Oh goodness, hun! I'm sorry things haven't been going very well for you! I know they will get better, soon. They have to! Please know our prayers are with ya'll. And if you need anything at all, please let me know! I'd be happy to help in any way I can.

I know how hard it is to see your child gravitating to someone else. I so wish I could find a way to stay home! Having to be a working mother & leaving Livvy with my mother is the hardest thing I've ever done. Not because she's not taken care of, my mother loves her more that anything. But because I am the mother I long for that time & connection. But keep in mind, it's only for a little while. They still know exactly who we are & that we love them. They show us everytime they look at us with that sweet smile & snuggle in to hug us with those little arms. It will get better.

Paula Hinckley said...

Lee and Crystal,
I am so sorry about what happened. I am so thankful it wasn't any worse than it was. Things will start looking up for you - hang in there and let me know if I can help in any way.
Aunt PJ

Lindsay said...

I hope you are doing better Crystal. And I hope Lee is healing okay. Bless your heart! Let me know if there's anything I can do to help!

cally said...

Yikes Crystal!

See, this is the stuff you'd never just stop me in the hall to gab about.

okay, stress is a monster that must be destroyed. BUT...the failing as a parent thing only makes it uglier. Stop it.

You're normal. Just work, and it will pass.

And give me some of the stress. What do you want me to do?

No, I won't feed Lee hot soup and fan him with a fig leaf. But I'll make his some mean Chili. He can feed himself.