Worst day ever.....wait.. make that week....

Wow, what a horrible day! Lee has been hard at work cutting some steel shelving units out of a warehouse so I can set up shop there for my website. Things have just been going wrong all week. The first torch he rented to do the job wasn't doing the job. So we then rented a second (different type) torch, and hired a man to come help. Well before they could finish, they ran out of the gas that is used. Ok, so pack it up for the day and we'll finish Monday. Alright, so Monday two torches get delivered so to be sure that the job will get complete. Ah yes, victory, we can finally get this project done.......wait, not so fast. The heads on these torches are melted shut.....so they can't finish them Monday either. Ok, so the man is gonna come fix them Tuesday, and for sure this job is going to get done! Man shows up Tuesday, fixes the torches, and it's back to work. So Lee is working on the second level, 12 feet up, and the walk way he is perched upon falls out from underneath him. So he plummets down to the floor and on the way he slices, no.... gashes, no....lacerates his hand wide open on a piece of jagged metal that was already cut, so it was not a nice clean even cut. No this cut was as jagged and gnarly as the piece of metal he cut it on. He lost A LOT of blood. So much that he was palish, green looking and couldn't even stand or walk on his own. Rushed him to the hospital, and they stitched him up. 11 stitches! He lost part of the skin on his hand and they said that only skin grafting would fix it....uh, no thanks.
I am just thankful that he didn't land with his head where his hand did. If he had even been a centimeter different he would have. If he had been a centimeter different he would have landed on the floor on his head. If we hadn't cleaned all the old cut shelves out from under him, he would've landed on those, causing more severe injuries to his body. If he had the torch lit, he would've had severe burns all over. If, If, If.......I could've lost my husband today. As painful, and horrible looking as that cut was, I am thankful. I am a nurse, and I was seriously grossed out. This cut was so deep, so torn, his hand looked like ground up meat. Sorry for those of you that are visual people, but this was no paper cut. However, he is a strong man and will make it. I wish I could be that strong......but I am breaking. This week has taken a toll on me like no other. I've had some serious, serious, serious issues with extended family. I've had some serious issues with my website and not being able to receive orders. All the while, Connor has had to stay with his grandmother everyday. He is beginning to prefer to be with her, and that hurts me. I am failing as a parent. I am not giving him the undivided attention he needs. Downward spiral........How do I climb back up? I can feel this swelling up inside me.....it's about to explode. This week has to finish up well, it must, or I may have to be committed......